Thomas and His Toothpaste
by snakesandscarlettforever
Summary: What happens when you put two brothers together in a small apartment with a tube of toothpaste? R&R please!


A short story inspired by Byung-Hun Lee, who looks exactly like Thomas Arashikage, and his pearly white teeth. =D Sorry, couldn't resist!

Please R&R!

=Thomas and His Toothpaste=

Thomas wearily walked into the bathroom in the far end of the small, rented apartment. It had been a long day, and it was late. He wanted to just go to bed....but he had to brush his teeth. It was vitally important. He couldn't let his teeth get yellow. They had to stay white.

Thomas had always had a very pretty smile, and that came from hours...not minutes...of brushing his teeth. They were as white as you could ever get them. He opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out his faithful toothbrush. He casually glanced in the mirror, running a hand through his jet black hair and smiling satisfactorily. He had taken pretty good care of himself, despite being in the army. Now that he was "retired", per se, he could take it easy. There came a loud clatter form the small kitchen down the hall. Well...pretty easy. Sharing an apartment with Ian Michaels, or else known as the "bad ninja dude who would rip your head off and eat it" Snake Eyes. He cocked his head over his shoulder, calling out with a slight hint of irritability in his voice.

"What was that? Did you just break something?"

Snake Eyes poked his head around the corner, smiling roguishly.

"Nope. Just dropped something."

Thomas frowned.

"Yeah? What? Your head?"

Snake Eyes stuck his tongue out at his brother.

"Not mine...maybe yours."

Well, Ian was a good friend. A little aggravating, but he was a good friend. Thomas couldn't help but grin a little. He really couldn't live without his brother, but he never told anyone that. He turned back around, looking back into the mirror and studying every little detail on his face. Amazing. Almost thirty years old and not a spot on him. He flashed himself one of his handsome smiles, speaking quietly.

"Ah, Thomas, you still have your charming and infectious personality. Congrats."

He reached for the tube of toothpaste on the counter, picking it up. He suddenly froze, staring at it in sheer horror...someone had squeezed it from the middle. His deep brown eyes narrowed, and he shot a glance at the mirror, watching the hallway that led to the kitchen. There was only one person who could have done this horrible thing...only one blond haired and blue eyed, six foot one ninja that squeezed the toothpaste...from the middle. It was criminal...against the law, in this apartment...it was worthy of court-marshal...death...vengeance...and...

"IAN MATTHEW MICHAELS!"

There was a tremendous crash from the kitchen that was the sound of a stack of dishes shattering on the floor at the outraged scream that came from the bathroom. The blonde sheepishly appeared around the corner, cringing at the venomous stare that his brother shot at him.

"Uhm...yes?"

Thomas glared, holding up the tube of toothpaste.

"You did this, didn't you?"

Snake Eyes gave a halfhearted smile, balancing perilously on one barefoot as he held the other, picking glass shards out of it.

"Oh...uh...yeah...that...well...I...um...you see—"

He was cut short as Thomas yelled at him.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT! I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!"

Snake Eyes put his foot down, wincing slightly as he stepped on a small chip of glass.

"Oh come on, Tommy boy, it's just toothpaste."

Thomas' eyes grew wide, and then narrowed again.

"Tommy boy? TOMMY BOY?! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT! Now listen, you nuisance, I'M the one renting this apartment, and I'M the one that cleans up most everything around here...IAN!"

Snake Eyes took his gaze from the almost perfectly clean kitchen, save for the shattered plates on the floor.

"Hey, I'M the one that just cleaned up the whole kitchen, while you stood in front of the mirror winning your own beauty pageant."

Thomas shoved a thumb towards himself.

"AND I'M THE ONE THAT BUYS THE GROCERIES!"

Snake Eyes ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"Well if you call pop-sickles and ice cream groceries, then I must buy the snacks, like milk, eggs, chicken, cheese—"

"Yeah, but YOU'RE the one that eats it all and doesn't save anything for me!"

"HEY! You wouldn't eat it just because I cooked it! That's your own fault if you starve, Mr. Picky-Eater!"

Thomas glared, glancing down at the tube of toothpaste.

"Yeah, but that still doesn't excuse you SQUEEZING THE TOOTHPASTE FROM THE MIDDLE! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?!"

Snake Eyes shrugged.

"Because it's the way I've always done it, so SORRY if you don't like it!"

He paused, tucking his shirt into his bluejeans.

"Oh, and by the way...WHY DO WE EVEN SHARE A STUPIDE TUBE OF PASTE ANYWAY?!"

Thomas pointed a finger accusingly.

"BECAUSE YOU SPEND ALL OF THE MONEY ON JUNK!"

Snake Eyes crossed his muscular arms.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Thomas pointed towards his brother's room.

"LIKE THAT STUPID NINJA POSTER!"

Snake Eyes huffed.

"Well you go and blow all the money on beer!"

"I DO NOT!"

"YES YOU DO! Hey, I emptied the trash this morning...guess what? 100 CANS OF BEER!"

"THAT ISN'T TRUE!"

"OH YES IT IS!"

"Why are we arguing about beer...WE'RE ARGUING ABOUT TOOTHPASTE! Now listen, if you don't stop doing that, I'm gonna kick you out."

"...You said that last week."

"SHUT UP!"

"Fine."

Thomas pointed to the back of the tube.

"It says to squeeze it from the BOTTOM. Not the MIDDLE. Now why do you insist?"

.......

"Ian..."

.......

"IAN! STOP USING ASL! YOU'RE NOT MUTE!"

Snake Eyes couldn't help but grin.

"Well you told me to shut up, so I did. Goodgrief, you tell me to do something, I do it. You're mad. You tell me not to do something, I don't...you're still mad."

"SHUT UP IAN!"

"BUT I JUST DID AND YOU CHASTIZED ME!"

Thomas let out a disparate sigh, tossing the toothpaste on the counter.

"Listen, I'm fed up to HERE with you, and you're about to drive me INSANE. Now if you don't get your act together, I will, on my life, kick you out. Is that clear?"

Snake Eyes suddenly cocked his head.

"Ask me how I feel."

Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"...come again?"

"Ask me how I feel."

Thomas looked at him quizzically.

"Okay. How do you feel?"

Snake Eyes suddenly had a wild look behind his deep blue eyes, his voice raised.

"Crrrrazy..."

Thomas now raised both eyebrows.

"What?"

He jumped slightly as his brother went into a fit of running around the island in the kitchen.

"CRAZY! DO YOU HEAR ME?! CRAAAZZZYY!!!"

He stopped short, getting into his brother's face and staring at him wide eyed.

"...crazy as a coconut..."

Thomas backed towards the bathroom counter.

"Ian, what are you doing?"

Snake Eyes suddenly became less tense, rubbing the back of his neck while smiling.

"Don't know, actually. Like I said, I'm crazy."

Thomas shook his head, almost relieved.

"In all the....DON'T DO THAT!"

Snake Eyes grinned.

"Why? Did I have you scared?"

Thomas glared.

"No. Worried for my life. Now stop being childish."

Snake Eyes crossed his arms again.

"Aha! There. You've just proven my point. I'm acting do different than you by running around the counter screaming that I'm as crazy as a coconut, than you fussing over the toothpaste being squeezed from the middle. So we're equal."

Thomas gaped, and then became indignant.

"IAN! QUITE BEING A JERK! Running around the counter is one thing, but squeezing the paste from the middle is...is..."

Ian smirked sarcastically.

"A matter of life and death?"

Thomas glared.

"EXACTLY."

Snake Eyes rolled his eyes, turning to walk back into the kitchen and trying not to step on the glass with his bare feet.

"This is pointless...."

Thomas yelled after him.

"You're right it is! Next time you do that, I'm kicking you out for good!"

He heard Snake Eyes mumble something about "said that last time" and "you'll have to cook". He groaned, turning back towards the mirror and picking up the tube of toothpaste, fixing it.

"He won't be so happy either living in an alley..."

-Next Night-

Thomas sat in the small living area with his brother, laying at an odd angle on the couch and flipping idly through a magazine. Snake Eyes sat in a chair opposite him, reading a book. Thomas peered over the top of the magazine, a smile playing on his lips. He suddenly threw it down, startling his brother.

"Thomas! Don't do that..."

Thomas stretched, yawning.

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

He noted the aggravated look on his brother's face, feeling a bit sorry that he had given him such a hard time the night before, and made an attempt to make up to him, while still disguising the real reason.

"By the way, dinner was good."

Snake Eyes tried to hide his shocked look.

"Uhm...okay, thanks."

"Well if you're gonna take offense at it,"

"No, not at all. Thank you."

"...you're welcome."

There was an awkward silence. Thomas hated complimenting his brother...it always ended in that awkward silence. He sat up, running a hand through his hair and then pulling on his socks that were lying on the coffee table.

"I'm going to go get ready for bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Snake Eyes didn't take his gaze from the book...it was obviously very good.

"Okay. Goodnight."

Thomas wandered to the bathroom, yawning again. Once again, he went through his normal routine of complimenting himself. He opened the cabinet door, pulling out the toothbrush as he always did every night. He suddenly stopped, remembering the night before. He slammed the cabinet shut, grabbing for the tube of toothpaste. In an awestruck silence he stared at it, not knowing what to think. He didn't know whether to be mad, happy that he could beat his brother for doing the right thing, or...or...confused.....

the toothpaste had been squeezed from the bottom.

~fin~


End file.
